Mama, mama, mama…

is the same refrain I hear most mornings at 3 a.m., sometimes at 4 a.m.  If we’re lucky, 6 a.m.   It always starts early.  And man, he is a very determined little guy.  And loud.

Our boy is loud.  And practically next to us, in his little closet nursery.

I don’t sleep as much as I’d like.  I don’t have the privacy most people require.

And space?  What is that?

The adventures with a lovey, huggy little boy, the day to day laughs, the walks to the park and splashing every single sidewalk puddle–it’s what I do have.

Motherhood is nothing quite like I’d ever envisioned.  There are no minivans here, no puppy dogs or picket fences.  It’s more like finding fossilized bagels under the ottoman and shoving it in little mouths before mommy can leap out of her chair.  It’s more like, my adult social life coming to a screeching halt and cabbing it to the pediatrician in a swirling frenzy instead.  It’s the career with a much different trajectory that works for us.  Motherhood is all about having a meltdown when I scold the boy for not sharing at the park.  And, by the end of the day, motherhood is all about finding apple pieces in my pocket and milk stains on my socks.  Some days, ok, MOST days, motherhood is wanting to drink heavily until it’s time for my bedtime.

Jack and me

On the days when I have a personal pity party for all the things in life I have no control over, only one little guy can turn it around with little effort at all…with hugs, kisses and the unconditional love that fills our big hearts and our small home.

Relatives might insist otherwise, but I when I look back at the decisions I’ve made, I know I’m doing something right.  I know it when he hugs me tightly and calls all day and night,

mama, mama, mama.

The imperfection, the sleeplessness, the ebb and flow of emotions all day long:  that is the motherhood I’m getting to know.

And quite frankly, it exceeds all of my expectations.

Happy Mother’s Day to all you lovely moms.  And Happy Mother’s Day to my mom:  I finally know, now that I’m a mom.  And I wouldn’t have it any other way.