Archive for category traveling

I want more Uncle

At the grocery store last weekend, I found my way to the potato chip aisle—looking for ricecakes of course.

Behind me, I could hear a little voice coming from the shopping cart.

“I want Uncle.”

Trying so hard to ignore ridiculous toddler requests, I didn’t respond.

“Uncle!! Mama, I want UNCLE!”

I turn around to see Jack pointing at the broad spectrum of Lay’s potato chips.

He continued to chant, “UNCLE, uncle, mama, I want UNCLE! PLEEEEEEEEEEAASE!”

I got the hell out of that aisle faster than you could say ricecake.

So, yes.  Our 2 year old adores his crazy uncle so much that anything he associates with my quirky brother, he thinks they’re called “uncle.”  Potato chips, you see, are the frequent sidedish to ALL of my brothers meals next to the vegetables, rice and whatever else might be served.  Every meal.  Breakfast, lunch and dinner.  Potato Chips.

And when we visit, guess what Jack also gets unbeknownst to me?  Yeah, handfuls of “uncles.”

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Pretzels, by the way, are also uncles.  As are Pirate’s Booty and popcorn too.  I guess we can assume that until further notice any snacky kind of food, especially the kind we don’t have in our house, will be referred to as “uncles.”

All that driving and picking up our lives and living out of suitcases for days at a time over the holidays?  Yeah, it’s little nuances like this, that make it so worth it.  If there’s anything–ANYTHING–we want to give Jack in this big, big world, it’s to provide the warmth and closeness of family, no matter how far we are.

It’s been a few weeks since we’ve been home, and though I’m STILL trying to get my life back in order and get caught up, Jack still can’t stop talking about “going to the Beach” and “going to Yoyo’s house.”  It might make my heart ache when he pouts about missing Uncle and everyone else, but it makes me realize, that even at 2, just how much he appreciates our sacrifices along the way.

And the uncle/potato chip misnomer? ha.  He’ll never live that down. And if I have it my way, maybe uncle John can switch up his eating “routine” and switch the chips for something less gross.  How about it, John?

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The holidays in rewind

**hello**  (((((((echo)))))

I know, it’s been way too long since I’ve updated over here.  Once again, I’ve been neglectful.  Alas, it’s a new year, which basically means I’m going to reshift my priorities again and TRY AGAIN to do what’s important to me, too.
All this mothering and pleasing other people crap is weighing me down, and quite honestly, has me in a funk.  Then again, so is the whole getting dark at 4pm stuff…

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So, yes, since I left you, we were gearing up for the holidays.  Oh, I had so many stories I wanted to share…if there was only more time in the day and less tantrums to extinguish—mine, not the kid’s!

I know all of you have had your decorations and trees put away for weeks, so bear with me on sharing a few of these stories so late. It’s almost Easter and all…and I’m just now getting around to talking about Christmas. haha. Story of my life.

Christmas, my most favorite time of year, flashed before our eyes and was done just like *that.*  But what a magical Christmas it was.

At this stage in the game, actually, within the past 2 months Jack has become so imaginative and verbal.  And when I say verbal, it’s beyond the one word sentences and repitition.  He caught on to all the holiday buzz words, like Sansa (Santa), Chrimmas (Christmas) and anything resembling a Christmas Tree was, of course, a Sansa Tree.  He’d see a wreath and say, “oooh a Sansa Tree!”  And in NYC, every where we went, there was some kind of Sansa Tree or Sansa himself.  It was glorious!

This year’s trip to Macy’s was amazing.  As usual, we went the first thing in the morning in mid-December and braved the crowds.  Thankfully, we were in and out of there in less than an hour!  We enjoyed Santaland and the trains and the beautiful decorations while we waited in line.
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Seriously, the line moved so fast and efficiently this year, we almost didn’t have time to stop and gawk at the billion different things to see in Santaland.  Jack adored the massive train displays as much as Sansa himself.  Seeing Santa at the Macy’s in Herald Square is one of my most favorite family Christmas traditions, and I’m so glad we’re able to “give” Jack such fun experiences.

The rest of the days and short weeks leading up to the holidays were spent working on NKT and attending various events.  By the end, I was so braindead and Jack, poor Jack, he was bored and ready to play as always!

The day before we left for Va. for the holidays, I insisted on taking Jack to see the tree in Rockefeller Center.  Because it’s easier to go during the day rather than at night, we didn’t get the full effect, but we did enjoy the massive tree and breathtaking sights around us.  The celebration on TV for the treelighting really doesn’t do it enough justice.  Christmas in the City is pretty awesome and Rockefeller Center is the epicenter of it all.

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And then the next day, we packed our bags into the car, amidst the snow piles and headed south…

I’ll have to do a photo essay thing on Christmas with the folks, so more on that crazy fun later.

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I think I tweeted something about having so many emotions about this past trip home for Christmas, which is probably an understatement.  With our families so firmly planted in Va., I realized that if Jack is ever going to have strong relationships with them, then it’s mostly on us.

It’s our choice to live here to expand our horizons, but unfortunately, the visits will be scarce.  What will that mean?  It could mean, not as many trips to Va so we can maybe focus on OUR family for a change?  The same amount of visits so we can continue spending money that we could be saving for a house, so we can move out before we kill each other in this tiny space?  Or how about just wallow in guilt because we can’t make everyone happy, including Jack?

We’ve stopped asking people to visit because well, everyone has work, life and everything else going on.  Besides, I hear it’s expensive to visit NYC and small spaces are undesirable ;)
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I couldn’t get out of Va. fast enough after I finished college, so it’s kind of ironic that our kid constantly asks to go to Yoyo’s house.  and Papa’s house.  and to see Uncle John.  All the live-long day this kid rips my heart out with this cadence of asking to go to Va.

My life’s conflict is like a shapeshifter—like, now it’s in a stranglehold by a toddler who knows just what he wants.

And right now, it’s 350 miles away at Yoyo’s house.

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Up, up and away

We have so much to give thanks for this year, but instead of naming material possessions or hell, even noteworthy accomplishments, quite simply, I’m most thankful for our family.  Our big, often dysfunctional, but full of love family.

We’re not perfect, but whose is?

This Thanksgiving reminded me of how much I appreciate each and every one of these individuals who are to blame for my neurosis and my penchant for drinking too much.  But if it wasn’t for all of them, yep, you guessed it, I wouldn’t be who I am today. More on that later…

This holiday started out like any holiday with me procrastinating to pack and clean to prepare for our trip home to Virginia.  Except this year, I pushed the envelope even further.  After reading on Twitter that the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade Balloon Inflation started at 3, I announced to the masses on Facebook that I was going to head into the city with Jack.

I thought, we’re forging ahead with trying to move to the suburbs, my chances of being spontaneous and heading into the city are starting to diminish altogether.  *sob*  Since we did the balloon inflation last year, and Jack was just barely 1, I wanted him to see and experience things a bit more now that he’s a year older.

I allotted two hours at the most for commuting and viewing the balloons.  The traffic crushed that agenda.  The bus and subway were all packed, but thankfully, Jack did great with the public transit.  He’s been known to meltdown when traffic takes a bit too long…but we made it.

Once we made it all the way up to the Upper West Side—which, by the way, is a total pain in the ass to do in the drizzling rain AND insane Thanksgiving traffic—Jack was fast asleep since it was his naptime.  The crowds were bearable (for me) since it was Thanksgiving in NYC., but add a sleepy Jack and the rain?  Oh boy.

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He woke up without much fuss and set his sights on Mickey the Sailor being inflated and immediately begged to get up!  Since our subway stop dumped us off into the midst of the balloon inflation fun, we had to follow the crowd and actually started at the second half of the sights.  Jack and I walked around and even managed to get a few pictures, in between accidentally clipping a few heels with the stroller on the way.  Oops!

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Since we arrived right at the beginning of the inflation, there were a few balloons that weren’t quite bloown up yet.  There were signs that helped  us figure out what was what, and Jack even pointed out a few.  Mickey the Sailor and Hello Kitty were two personal favorites. They’re all awesome, who am I kidding!

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I really, truly wish we had more time to see all of the balloons being inflated, but unfortunately, with the crowds and holiday traffic AND our plans to head to Va after Jeff got off, Jack and I only saw half of the balloons.  Still…I’m so glad we did; to be able to be spontaneous and expose the kid to so much fun stuff that I could only dream about when I was a kid, is a special thing.

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Calm before the storm and on the move

This morning, most of our friends and family back home are cleaning up after the big November Nor’easter. Even though we’re 350 miles away, we’re cleaning up after our own storm. I know, it’s not the same, but it’s been a crazy week for everyone!
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Our weather report is saying that we’re going to get hit with the Nor’easter this weekend, and if Accuweather is correct, I’ve only got a few minutes to write this post so I can hopefully beat the storm and go walk to do a couple of loads of laundry and grab some essentials at the grocery store.

So, yes, things have been insane around here. I’ve been attending event after event, and by the time I get home, I’m so exhausted from all the stimulation that I hardly have enough energy to do the dishes or cook dinner. Everyone does this sort of balance and yes, things could be worse…But damn, I’m tired.

In order for me to be able to attend these events in the city, we hired a regular babysitter whom Jack LOVES. She’s really great with him, he gets along great with her and the other little girl she watches BUT the main caveat is that she lives up in Jersey City. So, I do that walk up there by foot, even though on paper it’s 8 blocks away. It takes about half an hour each way, but on foot, with a stroller IN THE COLD RAIN, it sucks. So when I’m feeling baller, we take the $10 cab. Great childcare, even though it’s a trek, is worth it. Right?

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But aside from that whole babysitter situation, we’ve got the house hunting stuff going on. This journey is much more personal since it’s the biggest financial investment we’ve made to date. There’s so much to say about the house stuff…but I always feel that I need to tread lightly on this topic.

Let’s make this clear: I love city living. LOVE. I love being able to walk everywhere, even when I run out of babywipes at 10pm at night. I love having so much to do on any given day. I love being just minutes away and having four different public transportation options of heading into the City.

Yeah, I complain about the lack of amenities, but really, the tradeoffs make up for it tenfold. I’ll say it again, but I know many people who don’t “get” city living gasp at how we live in such a small space. EVERYONE does it here. Some people have less space, some people have more, but we’re all playing Jenga with our cars, kids’ toys, furniture and laundry baskets.

That said, when I’m told to “hang in there,” I’m like, for what? I love it here. I don’t want to leave!

I’ve GLADLY given up certain conveniences for proximity to everything. However, my personal sacrifice is much different than my husband’s. My laundry adventures aren’t as dire as the 1.5 hr parking chore that Jeff often endures every night. Yes, parking.

Sadly, we don’t have the extra $400-600/month to spare for a parking spot, so Jeff must circle around our neighborhood hundreds of times before he can find an on-street spot. And ultimately, Jeff’s parking debacle turns into a parenting debacle. All that effort spent on parking has interfered with Jeff & Jack time AND on our nighttime routine. And that, my friends, suuuucks.

So, as much as I don’t want to move, it’s clearly for the greater good. And that’s not say I wouldn’t love having a dishwasher, washing machine and dryer. Just right now, I love havinghouse in cedar lake all the other stuff more.  (But I’ll still complain about having to trek all that way to wash laundry!)

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I’m so sure my tune will change in time. And no, we will not be getting a damn minivan when we move to the suburbs.

And that’s where I am right now…but the actual house hunt is exciting. Last week, we checked out 9 houses in the neighborhood we ideally would like to move. On a whim, we checked out one house in a totally different neighborhood, and guess what, we liked that one the best. I won’t say we loved it, but there’s potential to love it even more. We’re at a crossroads about this house, but more than likely, we may be making an offer…

Jeff’s worked so hard on making this happen!  A huge thank you to him on that and to my parents for all of their support and encouragement.

But hello, that particular neighborhood is much more remote than we realized. There was real deer in a yard close to the house we liked. Deer!!

As we drove around that neighborhood, Jack saw this man mowing his lawn. I never realized this, but Jack has never seen someone in person mowing their lawn. I guess we’re not in VA enough in the summer to see people doing yard work, so it was hilarious for him to yell excitedly about a man mowing his lawn.

So, yes, as much as I love the city and living so close to it, I want my child to know the joy of his father yelling at him to mow the lawn on a Saturday morning. I want him to have his own space to expand his own horizons. I want him to know how wonderful it is to grow up in a great community, just like we did. But lucky Jack, he’ll (hopefully) live less than an hour away from NYC.

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And after he mows the lawn, he’ll have his momma yelling at him to get dressed so we can take the train and go to Museum Mile and enjoy adventures in the City again.

Poor kid :)

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Momma, mama, moooommmm, MAMA

Has anyone seen that commercial with baby Stewie from the Family Guy where he’s reptitvely saying, “Momma, mama, moooommmm, MAMA?!!!!!?”

Well, we decided that Baby Stewie is channeling a whole lot of Jack in that commercial. And Lois is so me.

It cracks me up that Jack can barely string together sentences yet, but he’s got that repetitive kid chant-thing down.

And when he’s not driving me crazy with chanting mama or another word over and over and over and OVER, Jack is otherwise as cute as ever. His verbal skills and vocabulary continue to flourish, which is a constant reminder that I really do need to stop dropping the Fbombs.

Old habits die hard.

A few of the cutest things he says though are “Patsy” which means pizza, the way he answers “yeah” to every question you ask and especially the way he says “thankyouyourwelcome” after you give him something. haha.

Thankyouyourwelcome is THE greatest. He understands that ‘thank you’ and ‘your welcome’ go hand in hand, but he gets confused because I say them to him all the time. Though he gets “it,” I guess I never really clarified when he’s supposed to say what and when. He’s cute nonetheless.

He’s become so much more adept with our electronics. He can swipe the ipod with ease and point and touch his little games when we let him play for a few minutes at a time. When did he become such a geek like us!?

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As usual, I’ve been neglecting Babyrific. Truth is, life has been chaotic to say the least. Every week, I’ve had at least 2-3 blogger events in the City. Sometimes, I’m invited to more, but I tend to decline the events that don’t fit the scope of Nextkidthing.com or this blog. It’s been exciting to gain more and more momentum, but sadly, I’ve also become so overwhelmed at times. But regardless of how overwhelmed I get, I count my blessings for being able to fulfill my creative desires and spend as much time with Jack as possible.

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Because I go into the city quite a bit again, often times, I’ll need a babysitter. We found a lovely college student to watch Jack for a few hours at a time at our house, but her availability doesn’t always work with the times I need. Jack loves her and has even mentioned his older cousin Ashley whenever he sees this babysitter. The babysitter is right about Ashley’s age, and I think it’s so cute how much he loves his older cousin that he sees similarities between the two.

On the days where I need help in the mornings, I had to find somebody more consistent. Through one of our community message boards, I found a really nice woman who does childcare out of her home. In Hoboken, babysitters and au pairs are more commonplace than in home daycares, so I found this lady up in JC Heights, which is the town right up the hill from us. The location, though close, isn’t the most convenient since I have to walk 8-10 blocks to get there. But after Jack’s first day there today, I’m crossing my fingers and saying that it’s worth it.
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We’re still super tired from an emotional weekend of traveling and saying good bye to one of our best friend’s father. Since we all went to school together and grew up together, our longtime friends ARE a part of our family. A kind and funny man that Jeff idolized for his wry sense of humor, Mr. Bill Stead helped raise 3 wonderful daughters, and one whom Jeff and I would walk to the end of the Earth for.

The weekend made me think in depth about our friends and family and feel thankful for so much– even those things that we can’t change or control.

Even the non-stop barrage of Momma, mama, moooommmmm, Mama.

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And just like that, he’s 2!

It’s still so hard to believe that it’s already been 2 years since we brought home our bubbly, mischievous little boy. And to think, back then, I could actually carry him still and I didn’t have to run so damn much and had way less gray hair.

But, it’s all good. Contrary to all of my complaints, I wouldn’t have it any other way.

We’re all still recovering from a quick weekend in Va. to celebrate Jack’s birthday with the family. At this point, it feels like we’ll never catch up on things. At the very least though, I’ve uploaded some birthday photos on Flickr and Facebook. The actual blog posts, as usual, will come…eventually.

For now, enjoy a quick glimpse of my cute and innocent little guy.

My buddy is 2

Yeah right. Cute, sure. Innocent? Not so much :)

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WW: when time stands still

We’re slowly but surely getting back into our routine after a few weeks of prepping for, then actually vacationing.  All I can say is, after all is said and done, getting back to reality sort of sucks.  The rigid sleep routine is no more; no beach weather to look forward to; no wedding to anticipate anymore.

Hawaii was nice, but I have to admit that it’s even nicer to get back to it being the three of us again.  So much of our vacation was revolved around the needs of others, not to mention, it was so challenging to juggle the tot who was having a hard time with teething AND the time change.  My vacation ended up not being so much of a vacation afterall…but that’s what I expected.

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We were so busy doing family things, that by the end, other than swimming in the pool, we hardly ever did anything that Jack really would have enjoyed. It’s no wonder he was so cranky for the last half of the trip.

As much as I may have complained about how hard it was to wake up at 4am almost every day of vacation, the truth is, I loved hanging out with Jack and exploring Hawaii on our own.  Ok, so it might have been dark out, but we found ourselves watching cool bugs and smelling flowers, guided by the moonlight—just me and my guy. His curiosity and adventurous nature took us all over the place—through the dark, through the rain, until the sunrise meant it was time to meet our waking family.

So, when I look back at all the pictures I took, it’s hard not to get so nostalgic and remember that in just a few days(!!) Jack will be turning 2.  TWO!!  I’m so grateful that those early morning wakings gave us a chance to capture Hawaii and we’ll forever have a gazillion pictures that makes time stand still…even for just a moment.

More Hawaii recap and recent adventures to come!

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It was the best of times. It was the worst of times… It’s Hawaii time

It was the best of times. It was the worst of times… Ah, but yes, it was our family vacation!

After a much needed, yet unexpected hiatus from the blogs, I’ve had a lot of time to reflect on our recent trip to Hawaii for Kris’ wedding. Based on well over 1,000 photos that’s taking me a week to upload to Flickr, it’s safe to say, we had a great time in the Aloha State. But like most family vacations, there was plenty of drama too.

The first drama of the trip happened even BEFORE we left for the airport. My brother John, whose connecting flight was strategically planned for Newark so he could fly WITH us to help out with the kid was delayed, thus debunking that whole plan. Go figure.

Since this was our third trip to Hawaii, but the first with a kid in tow, we were expecting it to be significantly different. I don’t know about you guys, but a vacation with little kids isn’t even “really” a vacation. Especially when a 10.5 hr. flight is involved. Oh, yeah, and a 6 hour time difference too.

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Back in the day, Jeff and I used to pop a few Tylenol PMs and voila, we’d be in Hawaii. This trip, uh, yeah…no matter how many toys and treats we brought along, we were still that family at times. At departure, since we sat in the very back row of the plane, it was LOUD, and of course there were tears. Lots of them. After a few minutes we were good. For the rest of the long flight while we chased daylight en route to paradise, Jeff and I were tasked with entertaining Jack while he was awake. We broke out a new set of Tech Decks (which, by the way say in BOLD print that they’re only for 9 years and up) and a new Thomas Train. The Tech Decks won out. For a good hour or so, we used the tray as a ramp over and over and OVER.

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After the novelty of the tiny skate boards wore out, another meltdown ensued AND it was just about the time for naptime–thank goodness.

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Thank goodness for the 2 hour nap and a little *ahem* help.

It always feels like the trip THERE is much longer, especially when it’s nonstop and you’re trying to get used to the time change all at once. But truly, it felt like that flight aged me a few years.

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But once we arrived, the gentle glow of sunset and the sweet breezes greeted us and we couldn’t have been more relieved. We arrived at around 6:00 pm local time, which meant midnight east coast time, but surprisingly, much thanks to his rolling PBS bookbag, Jack was juuuust fine.

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That is, until Kris and Jason picked us up from the airport and we had to tell Jack it was time to ride in his carseat again.

Oh sweet Jesus. The hysteria and cries of terror from this child was disturbing. Poor kid. Poor Kris and Jason for having to cart us around with a very unhappy Jack! It was enough to make us all want to drink. But really, I didn’t blame the poor kid for being so upset for not wanting to be in his carseat after that long ass flight. Kris and Jason were so kind and accommodating, EVEN through the crying.

But even through the crying and “stop looking at me” attitude from the kid, seeing my sweet cousin and anticipating her big day was well worth all that traveling. Oh, and those tears, too.

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Aloooooha, Hawaii. Get ready for my family.

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Float on

Our house is in complete disarray: summer clothes are piled on top of one another, flip flops stacked in the corner and all the sunblock is bagged up.

Nope, we’re not putting our summer gear away just yet.  Actually, while everyone is busy buying sweaters and boots for the new school year, we’re packing up for our summer vacation.  And people, we can’t wait!!!!  It’s been a long and super busy summer!

In addition to orchestrating the shopping and packing for the three of us, I’ve been working on scheduled posts for NKT on top of doing some Matron of Honor tasks for my cousin, Kris’ wedding—the main reason we’re all trekking to Hawaii again!  Oh, but that’s not all, during our super busy week of vacation, I have quite a few family-friendly Hawaii story ideas that I plan to compose.  That’s right, in the midst of all the wedding fun and family craziness, I’ll try to drag Jeff, Jack and any other family member along to check out the latest restaurants and sites in Oahu, all in the name of my writing pursuits.  Tough life, I know.

So, we’ll see what we’ll have time for, because, y’know, the main objective is celebrating my cousin’s wedding and then of course, reeeelaxing!

With plenty of beach time and pool time in mind, we got him a floatsuit, which is very similar to what his cousins had when they were little.  Not only are we excited, but so is our water-loving buddy! haha.

Jack's floatsuit

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Blissful craziness and growing pains

On the way back to NJ from a week-long trip to Virginia, I had 6.5 hours to think—to think about the reasons why I chose to move to NYC, the reasons that kept us from moving back to Va. and ultimately, how parenthood has changed everything about all of the above.  My feelings that are lingering from our trip parallel a memorable dialogue between Bob and Charlotte from Lost in Translation.

Bob: It gets a whole lot more complicated when you have kids.

Charlotte: It’s scary.

Bob: The most terrifying day of your life is the day the first one is born.

Charlotte: Nobody ever tells you that.

Bob: Your life, as you know it… is gone, never to return. But they learn how to walk, and they learn how to talk and you want to be with them. And they turn out to be the most delightful people you will ever meet in your life.

I’ll be honest, I could’ve done 2 or 3 days in Va. and would’ve been done.  I say it all the time, but packing our lives up and putting things on hold isn’t always favorable, especially when it involves leaving Jeff behind.  But, as always, I thought “doing the right thing” was the right thing for us too, when in fact, I know better for next time.

It’s complicated, you know?

Jack enjoyed his time with my parents, my younger brother, his cousins, Jeff’s family and a few friends.  (a much lighter picture post to follow) But truly, the every month trips back and forth has worn on us—on our family.  The time, effort and expense it takes for every trip has become such a hurdle, especially when we come back feeling so emotionally and physically drained.

When are you supposed to put your own family’s needs first when you’ve always been expected to appease others?

Like our parents did before they started their own families, they set off to find their way.  In search of a “better” life, more opportunities and a place to settle: we’re doing, in essence, what they’ve done. But along the way, somehow gestures and words create complication; things that we cannot change, but instead, learn how to accept.  Language barriers, cultural barriers, generational gaps and difference in opinion all come to mind right about now.  Some call them growing pains, others simply write off as negativity.

It goes without saying that I couldn’t pack my bags fast enough in anticipation of returning back to our “normal” life.

Greeted by the flickering NYC skyline, the clammor of trash trucks and the coziness of our tiny apartment, I was so glad to leave one kind of chaos behind to replace with our own blissful craziness.  Just Jeff, Jack, me and our teeny tiny apartment filled with lots of love.

A few years ago, we’d visit back home and we never wanted to leave.  Life is predictable, safe and comfortable there.  Of course we’d like to be closer to family, but we’ll continue to pave our path with our little family in mind—it’s a brand new ballgame now.

Without risk, there will never be progress, and we’re going places, baby.

And just like that, a kid changed everything.

Again.

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