Archive for category wahhh

Dodging playgroups and hugging my calling card

I had somewhat of an epiphany yesterday…after watching the latest episode of Desperate Housewives.

Yeah, I really just said that.

I’ve always said that I don’t refer to myself as a “housewife” or as they say, SAHM.  We don’t go to playgroups or hangout at Starbucks or Panera like some of my mom friends in town are known to do.  Not that anything’s wrong with that—aside from the work that is being a mother, I consider myself a mom who works at home.

jack and his computerAnd I do…every day while trying to raise a toddler practically by myself during the week, while spearheading a website, making industry connections, attending meetings with toy executives, wiping a resistant booty, while fielding emails and ignoring laundry.

I work.  Just like so many other mamas, my daily struggle is trying to find that balance.  Yup, I’m still going at it.  Boohoo, right?

Nah…but as of late, I feel so completely overwhelmed by this existentialist crisis I have going on.

WHAT am I doing and where am I going with all of this?  Was dropping out of the conventional “rat race” worth it?  If I’m home most of the time caring for my own kid, then why do assholes look at me as if I’m the pariah?   If I went back to work in an office to work for the man again, just to feel worthless and constricted creatively, who wins then?  The kid who goes to daycare from 7am to 7pm everyday?

I’m over a year into this now, but as I get deeper into this path I’m on, I hear/feel/see more flack than you’d ever believe.

Is it really 2010?

This mommy wars stuff is bullshit.  And it’s hitting me hard.

I’ll save the rest of my dialogue for another day, the one where I’ve created this website that fuels my passion and creative desires.  The one where companies fill my mailbox with their new products, just to have a chance to be mentioned on my little site.  I’m only a year in, and I’ve barely scraped the surface.  Again, I’m not moving mountains here, I’m just doing what I’ve always wanted to do…

It’s exciting to experience the progress of this new direction and watch my vision grow.

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The holidays in rewind

**hello**  (((((((echo)))))

I know, it’s been way too long since I’ve updated over here.  Once again, I’ve been neglectful.  Alas, it’s a new year, which basically means I’m going to reshift my priorities again and TRY AGAIN to do what’s important to me, too.
All this mothering and pleasing other people crap is weighing me down, and quite honestly, has me in a funk.  Then again, so is the whole getting dark at 4pm stuff…

My new favorite ornament

So, yes, since I left you, we were gearing up for the holidays.  Oh, I had so many stories I wanted to share…if there was only more time in the day and less tantrums to extinguish—mine, not the kid’s!

I know all of you have had your decorations and trees put away for weeks, so bear with me on sharing a few of these stories so late. It’s almost Easter and all…and I’m just now getting around to talking about Christmas. haha. Story of my life.

Christmas, my most favorite time of year, flashed before our eyes and was done just like *that.*  But what a magical Christmas it was.

At this stage in the game, actually, within the past 2 months Jack has become so imaginative and verbal.  And when I say verbal, it’s beyond the one word sentences and repitition.  He caught on to all the holiday buzz words, like Sansa (Santa), Chrimmas (Christmas) and anything resembling a Christmas Tree was, of course, a Sansa Tree.  He’d see a wreath and say, “oooh a Sansa Tree!”  And in NYC, every where we went, there was some kind of Sansa Tree or Sansa himself.  It was glorious!

This year’s trip to Macy’s was amazing.  As usual, we went the first thing in the morning in mid-December and braved the crowds.  Thankfully, we were in and out of there in less than an hour!  We enjoyed Santaland and the trains and the beautiful decorations while we waited in line.
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Seriously, the line moved so fast and efficiently this year, we almost didn’t have time to stop and gawk at the billion different things to see in Santaland.  Jack adored the massive train displays as much as Sansa himself.  Seeing Santa at the Macy’s in Herald Square is one of my most favorite family Christmas traditions, and I’m so glad we’re able to “give” Jack such fun experiences.

The rest of the days and short weeks leading up to the holidays were spent working on NKT and attending various events.  By the end, I was so braindead and Jack, poor Jack, he was bored and ready to play as always!

The day before we left for Va. for the holidays, I insisted on taking Jack to see the tree in Rockefeller Center.  Because it’s easier to go during the day rather than at night, we didn’t get the full effect, but we did enjoy the massive tree and breathtaking sights around us.  The celebration on TV for the treelighting really doesn’t do it enough justice.  Christmas in the City is pretty awesome and Rockefeller Center is the epicenter of it all.

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And then the next day, we packed our bags into the car, amidst the snow piles and headed south…

I’ll have to do a photo essay thing on Christmas with the folks, so more on that crazy fun later.

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I think I tweeted something about having so many emotions about this past trip home for Christmas, which is probably an understatement.  With our families so firmly planted in Va., I realized that if Jack is ever going to have strong relationships with them, then it’s mostly on us.

It’s our choice to live here to expand our horizons, but unfortunately, the visits will be scarce.  What will that mean?  It could mean, not as many trips to Va so we can maybe focus on OUR family for a change?  The same amount of visits so we can continue spending money that we could be saving for a house, so we can move out before we kill each other in this tiny space?  Or how about just wallow in guilt because we can’t make everyone happy, including Jack?

We’ve stopped asking people to visit because well, everyone has work, life and everything else going on.  Besides, I hear it’s expensive to visit NYC and small spaces are undesirable ;)
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I couldn’t get out of Va. fast enough after I finished college, so it’s kind of ironic that our kid constantly asks to go to Yoyo’s house.  and Papa’s house.  and to see Uncle John.  All the live-long day this kid rips my heart out with this cadence of asking to go to Va.

My life’s conflict is like a shapeshifter—like, now it’s in a stranglehold by a toddler who knows just what he wants.

And right now, it’s 350 miles away at Yoyo’s house.

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Ear infections, figure fours and no sleep for the weary

So, we’re working on a week now…

A week of what you might ask?

A week of non-stop “mama, mama, mama, mama, mama.” A week of “no like, mama.” A week of holding my strong little boy in the Figure Four position, wrestling him down to force feed him spoonfuls of Amoxicillin. A week of being quarantined all in the name of his first ear infection.

This isn’t really a milestone, but hey, we’ve been ear infection-free for 2 years. I guess we lucked out in that department. Let’s hope we won’t have to deal with this much longer or at all in the near future!

Our poor guy has been miserable. I mean, look at that face! Quite the difference from just two weeks ago at his well visit!

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Ok, so, miserable doesn’t even do it justice. He’s a hot mess quite literally. There have been a few days in a row now where his temperature has been as high as 104ish and hasn’t been below 102. When all I hear and read about is the H1N1 virus, it’s hard not to be worrisome.

So, we haven’t slept much. He hasn’t moved out of my lap much either. But the last part isn’t so bad.

Except when it’s 4am.

We’ve been to the dr. WAY too much this past week, with today’s 2 hour wait/visit/debacle involving a throat culture, hysterical little boy and punctuated with an antibiotic shot to the no longer chubby thigh.

But, good news! After sleeping off some of his exhaustion (and canceling my plans to attend a Cupcake Crawl!!) my buddy, popped up from his nap and squealed with glee! No, really. He did!

He laughed a little, whined a little, laughed a little more and then still insisted on crawling onto my lap a few times. His fever isn’t as crazy as it’s been, which is good. He’s not wailing over the pain from his ears that much either. I don’t want to jinx it, but it looks like we’re on the mend! Cross your fingers, everyone. I’m ready to have a healthy boy and a little social interaction besides the nurses at the dr’s office!

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Weathering through the working woes

From beginning to end, this week marked one of the most tumultuous, yet fulfilling weeks I’ve ever had.

Our guy turned 2 on Sunday.  We traveled way more than we could physically handle for the sake of others.  We welcomed another month of crazy, busy activities and events.  I attended a lovely event, but my experience was clouded by Jack’s awful, AWFUL  separation anxiety issues.  I checked out some of the hottest, coolest toys EVER and connected with so many interesting people (more on this to come and lots more info. can be read on NKT!) But best of all, my guys got to bond one on one for a change.

By the middle of the week, I was so blinded by exhaustion and frustration. After the event where Jack bawled uncontrollably for practically 2 hours in a swanky restaurant that I’d been dying to try and finally had the chance, much thanks to the luncheon I was invited to, I felt so defeated.  Instead of mingling with people, all of whom were just as passionate or interested in this brand of products, my job as a mom came first.

Jack, for some reason, can’t shake this separation anxiety spell.  He cries his little eyes out, his nose runs, his little round face gets all red and he hyperventilates…until I come back.  I know it’s a temporary phase, but it certainly doesn’t make the present any less painful.

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As a family who tries to juggle life without any family nearby, surviving on one predictable salary while I build the foundation for another, when I’m invited to a media or blogger event, I have no choice but to be selective.  It’s always an honor to be invited to events, though we can’t always swallow the expense of babysitters, plus the cabs and trains.  (Let’s put it this way, most nannies and babysitters make just as much as I did when I was still working as an editor; hence one of the reasons why I went freelance.)  So this particular event, because it was a brand that our family loves, was one event that I couldn’t wait to attend.  The fact that they offered childcare was an added perk.  Awesome right?

Yeah, not so much when your kid insists on being attached to your leg, for fear of being abandoned.

Is this separation anxiety my fault for choosing to work from home?  Are we to blame for visiting Va. more often than our bodies and emotions can handle (and saying goodbye way too enough, thus disrupting his normal routines?)

I choose to believe that it’s just another phase that we’ll weather through…

Whatever the reason might be, Jack’s crying and outbursts made another little boy cry, too.  Frickin’ fabulous, I thought.  Jack’s just barely on the cusp of understanding cause and effect, but he most certainly did not grasp why mommy wanted to leave him in a strange room filled with little kids with 2 unfamiliar adults.

Jack cried loud enough for a room full of executives, members of the press and bloggers, like me to hear.  I can’t say I was embarrassed—he’s my kid for crying out loud.  I will say that I was annoyed at the people who rolled their eyes or mouthed snarky comments about the crying kid.  MY kid.  It was then that I second-guessed myself for even attending, what I thought was, an event celebrating one of the best companies that embrace greener lifestyles and raising organic kids.

It was almost surreal that my mostly organically and green-grown child was like a misfit because he couldn’t stand being away from me.

At one point, understandably, I was asked to go tend to him because he was So LOUD.  Perhaps, they couldn’t hear the taping of speeches or hear the slideshow in the midst of his terror-filled cries?

And so, I spent most of my afternoon in the childcare room feeling isolated, bitter and left out.

As a friend later told me, I was being harder on myself and more critical of the situation than others were.  eh…maybe.  But from the glares that I felt that I was getting, it definitely felt much different.

My kid was crying a lot.  I should have left altogether.  Problem was, the base of our stroller was on the OTHER side of the room, like the side I couldn’t access because there was a podium and audience separating us.  So, I spent most of the event in the childcare room, missing a majority of what I trekked there for in the first place.

Lesson learned.

My feelings, experiences and thoughts in NO WAY reflect the company or publicists.  I’m quite appreciative for the aforementioned, but honestly, hurt by a few of my peers who made me feel uncomfortable for being a mother that day.  My friends who kept me company that afternoon?  Yeah, they rocked…especially when I couldn’t get our giant stroller in and out of yet another logistically impossible and stroller-unfriendly establishment.

In the end, I’m just another mom trying to make it work.  I got the information we needed, enjoyed bites of a lovely lunch and made it home unscathed.  This wasn’t the first stroller-schlepping and tear-filled outing.  My guess is that it won’t be the last.  It’s all in a day’s work of this blogging/writing/reporting mama.

Next time, I’ll rethink my choices. (Do I decline the childcare and get my own sitter?  Do I figure out a way to break this separation anxiety spell?) But today, even after all the tears and stroller-schleeping,  I’m glad I know how to handle (or NOT to handle) the next chaotic situation.  Seriously, the thought of multiple children in this city-living, event-attending realm gives me night tremors.  But that’s a whole different post.

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New Shoes

One of the best parts of going back to school was always the shopping sprees, specifically, the ones where we’d get new shoes.

After getting my new Nikes, I’d admire my pretty pink Swoosh and that white suede that would eventually turn to gray from wearing them for 9 months-straight.

My mom always joked that my younger brother would sleep WITH his new shoes, as if they were teddy bears.  My other brother, he probably did the same.

I love the kids who were always convinced that their shoes would make them run faster or jump higher, in a very Michael Jordan-esque way.

I’m sure we all did something with our new shoes.

But new shoes, y’know, double as the most perfect tap shoes, too.

I have to say, I always did the exact same thing with my new dress shoes—usually the patent white Mary Janes.  But I usually had pants on.  And didn’t dance on top of my potty that doubles as a bench.  Or seek applause.

He might not be going to school just yet, but I have a feeling he’ll be quite the ham for our family trip to Hawaii. This, my friends, is more proof that this kid is an equal mix of Jeff and me.  AND that perhaps more noticeably, that we definitely have a future performer on our hands.

Maybe a Mistizo Billy Elliot?

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Adventures in babysitting, or the lack thereof

Many years ago, when I pulled the shock and awe moment of telling my parents that I’d be moving to NYC to pursue a career in magazine journalism, they, of course, yelled at me.

Ok, maybe yell is a bit exaggerating.

They full-on freaked out.

“What if you can’t find a job!”  “It’s NYC!” “Where will you live” “WHAT IF YOU CAN’T FIND A JOB.”

In tears, I assured them I would.

And, I did.

I landed an internship at a well known men’s magazine at the time.

Ok, so it was unpaid, but it was a job.

From there, I went on to work at my last position…well, we all know how that ended up.  But, I loved what I did.

Correction, I love what I do.

If I didn’t, we wouldn’t have stayed; we surely would’ve moved back to our hometown, where life is more predictable, mortgages are half of what we pay for rent and more importantly, reliable (sometimes FREE) babysitters flow like water.

And, it’s days like today that make me wonder WHAT THE hell was I thinking?

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On Sunday night, I had butterflies because of all the exciting events and gigs that are starting to fill my icalendar:  luncheons, social media events, holiday showcases, meetings with PR friends, writing gigs.  A year ago, on Sunday nights, in anticipation of returning back to work, I’d get stomach cramps, insomnia and anxiety-induced headaches.

Ah, the Sunday shitstorm, I so don’t miss that!

But now, things are starting to come full-circle; or, at least I thought so.

In line with these new opportunities and gigs, we hired a new part-time babysitter—a sweet lady with college-aged children.  We lined her up to start today, to cover for me while I attended a media luncheon with a major children’s shoe company.  Kids were welcome to the event, but because Jack is in that temper tantrum/into everything stage AKA psychotic 2 year old phase, a sitter would be the only way to go.

I did the dishes, cleared the toys—-hell, I even organized my piles of papers and mountain of product samples that arrive in my mailbox daily.  That, in itself, was a feat.

Though I had a late start in getting dressed, I was done flat-ironing my hair by the time 10:58 a.am. rolled around.  With the lunch at noon, I asked her to arrive at 11 a.m. so I’d have plenty of time to show her around before jetting off into the City.

11:05, still no sitter.

11:13, still no sitter.

11:22, NO DAMN SITTER.

I checked my email—nada.

I checked my voicemail and that’s where things got crazy.

I tried to check voicemails and got some effed up message.  Of course, my phone was not working.  Why would it?

I sent a frantic email to Jeff telling him about the situation, who then, called my phone with no problem.  WTF? His phone worked, but not mine.  But even more interesting, I could receive incoming calls, but could not make any outgoing calls.

WHY me?

At 11:30, still no word from the sitter, but the phone situation figured itself out.

At this point, all I could think about was the childcare battles I had while I was still working at my old office—all the tears, the inappropriate comments, the stress.

It actually broke my heart that the childcare problem reared its head once again.  Jack is such a wonderful boy, and all I want to do is continue the momentum I have going with this new career path, WHY IN THE HELL is it so hard to secure reliable, affordable childcare? Isn’t that why I left my office job in the first place?

By 11:38 a.m., attending the luncheon was a lost cause.  With such a heavy heart, Jack and I grabbed a few books and did what we always do:  we sat and hugged and read.

And then, the doorbell rings.  and rings, and rings, and rings.

It was the babysitter.

Of course it was…

Even before she could make it up the stairs, she was yelling, “I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry.”  And then she went on to tell me her story about how she was interviewing for another job a few towns away.  The bus to the lightrail to a cab—her commuting stars just didn’t align.  Like many of us in the area, she’s dependent on public transportation.  And of course, she didn’t have my number on hand.  So compile all the other ridiculous details above, this is exactly the kind of nonsense that can only happen to me.

I sent the sitter home since there was no way I could show up an hour late.  I emailed and left a voicemail for my PR contact, but I still felt so awful.  All I wanted to do was attend this lunch, and then childcare chaos happens.  Why does it have to be so damn complicated?

[As a sidenote, Jeff usually covers for me when I attend most media events.  But because this one was sort of last minute and in the middle of the day, I foolishly thought I could easily get a babysitter.]

I ranted about the whole scenario via my Facebook status, but still, I felt so disappointed.  I’ve had all day and night to think about this and I’ve come to terms that I can’t be upset.

Public transportation is a wonderful thing, though when you missed one connection, you’re screwed.  I know this all too well.  The sitter, who lost her job as a programmer 2 months ago, really is a nice person.  Not to mention, Jack immediately warmed up to her.  Even people he knows get a 5 minute Jack warm up buffer!  How could I be mad when, of all people, I know to expect the unexpected.

Like my cousin wisely said to me when I called her to whine about my day, all of this happened because, for some reason, I wasn’t meant to attend that event.

It’s not the end of the world if I miss an event due to things out of my control.  If I learned anything today, I’ve learned to forgive and forget. I’ll likely email the sitter later today to see if we can have a do-over.  I’m a big believer in second chances.

And oh yes, the scrubbing of the stovetop in preparation for a babysitter?  Yeah, I learned that the stuff I normally put off, it can always wait until tomorrow. Aim low, it’ll leave less room for disappointment.

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Taking one for the team

It’s hard to believe that this week is already over!  Well, just about…

Thank God.

Inundated with website stuff and other projects, I’ve been an overwhelmingly busy week.  It’s a good thing, but most of the work and late nights I’ve been pulling are favors.  Such is life.

Poor Jack has been bored since I’ve been way too busy to play/read in the mornings.  But hopefully, this weekend will make up for it.

This afternoon, after a planned trip to the Liberty Science Center, the three of us are yet again trekking down to Va. Beach.  The boys are very excited.  Me, not so much.  Don’t get me wrong, I love seeing our family, but all the timesharing of our visits usually becomes a major debacle.  Between everyone’s work schedules, family plans, weekend obligations, it never fails, there’s always someone we don’t get to see.

Oh, and seeing friends? haha.  Social hour with friends, it seems, is a distant memory.  The emails and phone calls don’t even come anymore…sadly, they know what we’ll be doing all weekend.

While we sit in traffic and dodge craziness, we’ll also be missing out on the amazing fireworks here in the NYC area.  This year, the fireworks return to the Hudson—just footsteps away from our doorstep.  And we’ll be missing out.  Not so surprisingly, Jeff is glad.

I don’t have a say anymore.

And so, I’ll pack our bags again, try to locate all the pieces to my projects that I’m working on, pray that we miss traffic, hope our little passenger doesn’t get carsick and make our way down the turnpike.  Again.

Even as I begrudgingly pack that car with a rowdy toddler ignoring my pleads to SIT STILL, in the end, hearing him laugh with his Lolo and watching him water the plants with Lola makes it worth all the effort and eye rolls.

Because, you see, it’s not about me anymore.

Maybe one long weekend, I’ll stay here by myself to relax.  Nah, that would involve me having fun.

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This learning curve is shaken not stirred

Almost an entire bottle of floor cleaner, half a roll of paper towels, I’m not sure how many outfit changes and a boot bath.  That was our day.

We got litle sleep as usual; I accept the blame for going to bed at 2am, however.  But the 4am sqwuaking for who-knows-why?  Um, yeah.  Definitely not my doing.

So, Jack’s all into destruction these days, much like any little kid.  Just like any little boy.  The first time is cute, the second time is sometimes funny, but the fifth time of flipping over the sippy cup and shaking every last drop?  Not my idea of fun.

He waits until I’m not looking, squints his eyes, (because y’know, if he can’t see me, then I can’t see him) and then he goes for it.  The first incident sometimes begins at 5am when I’m not even mentally awake yet.  Sometimes, it starts at 7am.  But it never ends.

We tether his cup to his highchair to help diminish the chance of milk puddles on our polk-dotted stained carpet.  But, that just means the milk puddles are contained to that area where the cup is located.  I keep the cup in the kitchen and wait for him to sign until he’s thirsty.  But yeah, he will not drink if I watch him.  He goes on a thirst strike and cries and whines until I let him drink on his own again.

And so, I look away and let him drink on his own.  And he rebels.  He shakes and spills with so much excitement and fervor.

He gets me every.single.time.

Oh, this boy is going to give me a nervous breakdown very soon.

Today?  Yeah, it goes down in the books.  I raised my voice more times than I wanted.  I scolded him and put him in his crib area for a time out.  And it sucked.

I know he doesn’t get it.  He’s a curious little boy…

I get it.

When the rain finally let up this afternoon, we ran amuck in the park.  It was a much needed release for both of us.

As we swung on the swing, there was a pair of nannies just hanging out.  “Their” kids were nowhere in sight…until, a little girl about Jack’s age carelessly darted behind his swing.

“ANA!  WHAT DID I TELL YOU ABOUT DOIN’ THAT?  YOU NEED TO WATCH!”  The nanny yelled to the oblivious toddler.

I told her it was fine and no harm was done.

A few minutes later, the little girl was off eating rocks.

“ANA, GET OVER HERE!” The nanny yelled.

The nanny never moved, she never stopped her conversation, nothing.

I cringed because I see that so often at our park.  The nannies just earning their buck.   And don’t get me wrong, it’s not all of the caregivers that do that.  But it’s enough to notice.  Enough for me to cringe and remember who said what and when.

And so, tonight after I whined to Jeff how ‘hard’ it was to clean up milk puddles all day and ignore piles of laundry, I remembered that nanny.

I’ve worked 6 really hard years to learn patience as a wife.  Ok, 13 if you count our dating years.  The point is, I accept the fact that learning patience is a never-ending learning process.  But I’m getting there.

As a mom, I haven’t learned it yet.  I’m as oblivious as sweet little Ana about to get smashed in the head by my kid’s swing!

On days like today when I reflect back, I cringe at the choices I made and how little patience I had for such silly things.  I had almost no patience, even hours later when all he wanted to do was sit on my lap.

It’ll be a long learning process with many more milk puddles, but I’ll get it—eventually.

But, I don’t really have a choice, now do I?

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The refrain that never gets old

Mama, mama, mama…

is the same refrain I hear most mornings at 3 a.m., sometimes at 4 a.m.  If we’re lucky, 6 a.m.   It always starts early.  And man, he is a very determined little guy.  And loud.

Our boy is loud.  And practically next to us, in his little closet nursery.

I don’t sleep as much as I’d like.  I don’t have the privacy most people require.

And space?  What is that?

The adventures with a lovey, huggy little boy, the day to day laughs, the walks to the park and splashing every single sidewalk puddle–it’s what I do have.

Motherhood is nothing quite like I’d ever envisioned.  There are no minivans here, no puppy dogs or picket fences.  It’s more like finding fossilized bagels under the ottoman and shoving it in little mouths before mommy can leap out of her chair.  It’s more like, my adult social life coming to a screeching halt and cabbing it to the pediatrician in a swirling frenzy instead.  It’s the career with a much different trajectory that works for us.  Motherhood is all about having a meltdown when I scold the boy for not sharing at the park.  And, by the end of the day, motherhood is all about finding apple pieces in my pocket and milk stains on my socks.  Some days, ok, MOST days, motherhood is wanting to drink heavily until it’s time for my bedtime.

Jack and me

On the days when I have a personal pity party for all the things in life I have no control over, only one little guy can turn it around with little effort at all…with hugs, kisses and the unconditional love that fills our big hearts and our small home.

Relatives might insist otherwise, but I when I look back at the decisions I’ve made, I know I’m doing something right.  I know it when he hugs me tightly and calls all day and night,

mama, mama, mama.

The imperfection, the sleeplessness, the ebb and flow of emotions all day long:  that is the motherhood I’m getting to know.

And quite frankly, it exceeds all of my expectations.

Happy Mother’s Day to all you lovely moms.  And Happy Mother’s Day to my mom:  I finally know, now that I’m a mom.  And I wouldn’t have it any other way.

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On the mend

Happy Monday!  If things look a little different today, that’s because they are…

Being in quarantine has its advantages, apparently.  While Jack was on the mend, I started to feel run-down and ill myself.  To fight off everyone’s sicknesses, we took it easy this weekend.  So, I found myself working on this site to spruce it up a bit.  I’ve been neglecting this site with the launch of NKT, and plus, the other theme was getting so cluttered, much like our apartment :)   So, I decided it was time for another overhaul!  I have a few more networking events this week, so I thought I’d look a little more presentable for a change.

Jack’s still under the weather, but definitely much better than he was on Friday.  After my pig flu rant, Jack’s temp spiked up to 103.  With Jeff stuck in traffic, I had an “Oh crap what am I supposed to do now” moment.  I wasn’t sure whether to pack him in the stroller and walk the 5 blocks to the pediatrician or take him to the ER.  I’m pretty sure I was *this* close to asking for advice on Facebook.  103 was friggin’ high!

I ignored both instincts.

Instead, I sat and rocked a sick little boy in the chair.   Thankfully his fever broke through the night.

His nose so raw from wiping, his eyes all teary from misery, my boy was the sickest he’s ever been.  The rest of the weekend involved spending almost all of Saturday afternoon at the dr’s office and then embracing the usual sick kid routine—changing many diapers from an upset belly, shoving Pedialyte down his throat, ignoring/disciplining/dealing with tantrums and hugging.  Lots of hugging.

Sleep is stil a bit off, but the worst was that EARLY morning waking at 3am.  He didn’t go back to bed at all.  Thank goodness Jeff was around to help that morning because that’s when I started to feel sick.  It’s a vicious cycle, I tell ya.

Though the weekend was tough on all of us, there are definitely signs of things looking up.

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