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Dodging playgroups and hugging my calling card

I had somewhat of an epiphany yesterday…after watching the latest episode of Desperate Housewives.

Yeah, I really just said that.

I’ve always said that I don’t refer to myself as a “housewife” or as they say, SAHM.  We don’t go to playgroups or hangout at Starbucks or Panera like some of my mom friends in town are known to do.  Not that anything’s wrong with that—aside from the work that is being a mother, I consider myself a mom who works at home.

jack and his computerAnd I do…every day while trying to raise a toddler practically by myself during the week, while spearheading a website, making industry connections, attending meetings with toy executives, wiping a resistant booty, while fielding emails and ignoring laundry.

I work.  Just like so many other mamas, my daily struggle is trying to find that balance.  Yup, I’m still going at it.  Boohoo, right?

Nah…but as of late, I feel so completely overwhelmed by this existentialist crisis I have going on.

WHAT am I doing and where am I going with all of this?  Was dropping out of the conventional “rat race” worth it?  If I’m home most of the time caring for my own kid, then why do assholes look at me as if I’m the pariah?   If I went back to work in an office to work for the man again, just to feel worthless and constricted creatively, who wins then?  The kid who goes to daycare from 7am to 7pm everyday?

I’m over a year into this now, but as I get deeper into this path I’m on, I hear/feel/see more flack than you’d ever believe.

Is it really 2010?

This mommy wars stuff is bullshit.  And it’s hitting me hard.

I’ll save the rest of my dialogue for another day, the one where I’ve created this website that fuels my passion and creative desires.  The one where companies fill my mailbox with their new products, just to have a chance to be mentioned on my little site.  I’m only a year in, and I’ve barely scraped the surface.  Again, I’m not moving mountains here, I’m just doing what I’ve always wanted to do…

It’s exciting to experience the progress of this new direction and watch my vision grow.

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The holidays in rewind

**hello**  (((((((echo)))))

I know, it’s been way too long since I’ve updated over here.  Once again, I’ve been neglectful.  Alas, it’s a new year, which basically means I’m going to reshift my priorities again and TRY AGAIN to do what’s important to me, too.
All this mothering and pleasing other people crap is weighing me down, and quite honestly, has me in a funk.  Then again, so is the whole getting dark at 4pm stuff…

My new favorite ornament

So, yes, since I left you, we were gearing up for the holidays.  Oh, I had so many stories I wanted to share…if there was only more time in the day and less tantrums to extinguish—mine, not the kid’s!

I know all of you have had your decorations and trees put away for weeks, so bear with me on sharing a few of these stories so late. It’s almost Easter and all…and I’m just now getting around to talking about Christmas. haha. Story of my life.

Christmas, my most favorite time of year, flashed before our eyes and was done just like *that.*  But what a magical Christmas it was.

At this stage in the game, actually, within the past 2 months Jack has become so imaginative and verbal.  And when I say verbal, it’s beyond the one word sentences and repitition.  He caught on to all the holiday buzz words, like Sansa (Santa), Chrimmas (Christmas) and anything resembling a Christmas Tree was, of course, a Sansa Tree.  He’d see a wreath and say, “oooh a Sansa Tree!”  And in NYC, every where we went, there was some kind of Sansa Tree or Sansa himself.  It was glorious!

This year’s trip to Macy’s was amazing.  As usual, we went the first thing in the morning in mid-December and braved the crowds.  Thankfully, we were in and out of there in less than an hour!  We enjoyed Santaland and the trains and the beautiful decorations while we waited in line.
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Seriously, the line moved so fast and efficiently this year, we almost didn’t have time to stop and gawk at the billion different things to see in Santaland.  Jack adored the massive train displays as much as Sansa himself.  Seeing Santa at the Macy’s in Herald Square is one of my most favorite family Christmas traditions, and I’m so glad we’re able to “give” Jack such fun experiences.

The rest of the days and short weeks leading up to the holidays were spent working on NKT and attending various events.  By the end, I was so braindead and Jack, poor Jack, he was bored and ready to play as always!

The day before we left for Va. for the holidays, I insisted on taking Jack to see the tree in Rockefeller Center.  Because it’s easier to go during the day rather than at night, we didn’t get the full effect, but we did enjoy the massive tree and breathtaking sights around us.  The celebration on TV for the treelighting really doesn’t do it enough justice.  Christmas in the City is pretty awesome and Rockefeller Center is the epicenter of it all.

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And then the next day, we packed our bags into the car, amidst the snow piles and headed south…

I’ll have to do a photo essay thing on Christmas with the folks, so more on that crazy fun later.

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I think I tweeted something about having so many emotions about this past trip home for Christmas, which is probably an understatement.  With our families so firmly planted in Va., I realized that if Jack is ever going to have strong relationships with them, then it’s mostly on us.

It’s our choice to live here to expand our horizons, but unfortunately, the visits will be scarce.  What will that mean?  It could mean, not as many trips to Va so we can maybe focus on OUR family for a change?  The same amount of visits so we can continue spending money that we could be saving for a house, so we can move out before we kill each other in this tiny space?  Or how about just wallow in guilt because we can’t make everyone happy, including Jack?

We’ve stopped asking people to visit because well, everyone has work, life and everything else going on.  Besides, I hear it’s expensive to visit NYC and small spaces are undesirable ;)
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I couldn’t get out of Va. fast enough after I finished college, so it’s kind of ironic that our kid constantly asks to go to Yoyo’s house.  and Papa’s house.  and to see Uncle John.  All the live-long day this kid rips my heart out with this cadence of asking to go to Va.

My life’s conflict is like a shapeshifter—like, now it’s in a stranglehold by a toddler who knows just what he wants.

And right now, it’s 350 miles away at Yoyo’s house.

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Rocking out in between the tantrums

It’s kind of crazy how Christmas completely snuck up on me this year.  I’m sure I’m not alone in saying this, but this year, I’m so not ready.

No, really, I just put away our light-up pumpkins yesterday.  Per usual, I’m always on the ball.

You’d think with the lack of blogging and no updates over here, I’d get some of that stuff accomplished!

So, what HAVE I been doing?  Let’s see…besides negotiating my sanity while prying a sometimes-tempermental two-year old off of the ground and catching Evil Kneivel before he leaps off of the couch HEAD FIRST, I haven’t been doing much.

Who has the time or energy to do anything after all of that?

Certainly not me.

So, there you have it.  I’ve been in a slump.  Now that we’re knee-deep with being Two, things have been tricky.

I know I’m not the first or last to endure the “Terrible Twos,” but it’s tough.  (By the way, I freaking hate the term as much as the phase itself.)

Thank goodness the good moments outnumber all the temper tantrums and mischief.  It’s really not ALL that bad, but Mondays are so much more difficult, especially since we’re still reeling from being spoiled after being in Va. for two weeks. (Thank you, Lola!!)  After being together non-stop all weekend and then going back to just the two of us, Jack acts out at times, perhaps because he misses his dad.

In reality, things COULD be worse, but man, I’m exhausted both physically and mentally.  Two is kicking my ass.

Thank goodness for quiet time with ice cream and my computer.

*little rocker wanna be

When he isn’t busy driving me to the crazy house, Jack is so much fun.  As usual, we spend our days singing, dancing and playing music.  Remember how I mentioned he was spoiled while in Va?  Well, Uncle John caved into Jack’s current obsession with guitars and gave him his Christmas present early.  Since John works in the warehouse at Guitar Center, he took advantage of his discount and got Jack a real guitar, the Laguna Little Brat.

So, yes, when we watch our shows now, we’ve added his acoustic guitar accompaniment.  It’s hysterical!

I know he’s only two, but this kid really has a penchant for music.  Yeah, he loves trains and cars, but nothing quite compares to music.  Of all of his toys, his keyboard, bongos and guitar get the most wear and tear.  As we’re learning our alphabets and numbers, I’m compelled to start teaching him music theory, too.  (So I say…)

It was funny, over Thanksgiving, a few relatives came over to mom’s house and noticed Jack rocking out on one of his guitars there. My mom was explaining Jack’s love for music, and how she remembered him dancing crazily to Tchaikovsky‘s Waltz of the Flowers on HBO’s Classical Baby before he could even crawl.  Mom went on to tell our relatives that she thinks Jack’s love for music has grown even more after attending various live shows.

I’m so excited to see his love for music flourish.  I have a lot of friends that are all into putting their kids into sports as soon as they can, but me, I’ll take the kid to as many kiddie rock shows as I possibly can.

I guess this is when I start brushing up on my piano playing and You Tube a few guitar tutorials for myself?

Of course, as soon as we grow out of the uncontrollable tantrums, provided I don’t go crazy before then :)

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Ooooh Scarrrry!

“Oooh scarrrry, mama!” and “punkins!” were just some of the fun phrases and words Jack loved to yell as we walked down the Halloween-decorated streets of Hoboken. Almost every brownstone on every block had a “punkin” or ghost or scary creature, perhaps influenced by the enthusiastic kids that live there.
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We, of course, don’t own our building so we don’t decorate the outside. But I tell ya, we’ve enjoyed the Halloween fun all around us. This past Saturday was no exception!

I was so excited that Halloween fell on a Saturday this year, particularly because I knew Jeff would be able to participate in all the festivities. On a normal day, he doesn’t get home until 8, or thereafter. So, a full day of parades, costumes and trick or treating was a perfect way to enjoy Halloween.

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At only 2 years old, our kid has not only begun flaunting his hysterical little (or should I say very big) personality! But beyond that, he has become so opinionated as well. He has has favorite shows, toys and books, but only a few of which that I can totally endorse. Most shows are annoying to me, given he loves the music/dancing aspects the best. But Yo Gabba Gabba, hands down, is a show that the 3 of us have grown to love.

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We bought the soundtrack last spring from iTunes and practically have it on repeat for all of our drives to Va.–it’s that awesome. No, really, it is. The Roots, Ting Tings and Biz Markie have a new found appreciation from me.

It was no question really what Jack was going to be for Halloween. When we first got some catalogs that had costumes, I let him flip through them. He’d name the animals, but just didn’t seem interest. But when I found some YGG costumes online, it was love…

And so, our boy was Plex the Magic Robot from YGG for Halloween. As much as I would’ve loved to make his costume myself, a homemade costume of a robot is a bit too complex for a toddler. I’m sooo glad we opted to buy his costume. It’s been such a hit!

Since Halloween fell on Saturday, I wanted to do a little something for Jeff and me. People go ALL OUT around here, but knowing how much Jeff hates Halloween, I knew I could only coerce him to do so much. So, I made some sweatshirts to look like other characters from YGG. I was Foofa, the pink blob or whatever she is and Jeff was Muno, the one-eyed monster.

We all suited up on Saturday morning and hit the streets to line up for the parade. It’s always so much fun to see the whole town—parents, grandparents, kids—to get so excited about costumes and dressing up. We saw so many fun costumes, including a few DJ Lances, more Foofas and a Plex or two.
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Jack rode in his tricycle and loved laughing and giggling at all the cool kiddie costumes we saw along the way. He absolutely loved seeing the dogs dressed up in costumes as well. Oh, it was just so much fun! I personally think all towns should have Halloween parades!
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The parade ended at the baseball field where there was a costume contest. Jack had no interest in the costume contest (which was so out of our league) but he did feel the need to run across the field that was blocked off. Oy!

We didn’t stay for the costume contest and so, we went to Washington St. (the main drag) to trick or treat at all the store fronts with all the other kids. Wow! It was the most crowded I’ve seen in a long time. I’m assuming people from neighboring towns came down to enjoy the festivities as well. We hit a few blocks of stores and then decided it was nappy nap time and headed home.

Once we were all refreshed from our naps, it was time for round 2! After the sun went down, we hit a few neighboring streets of private brownstone homes (read: the awesome houses). These streets, just a few blocks away from us, go all out and hand out candy to all the kids. It’s always fun to see the older couples and young professionals hand out candy, and to interact with our neighbors in general.

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I was most surprised when a few houses handed out whole candy bars to the kids. Full size Nestle bars…to hundreds of kids! It’s all in good fun, but I was so amazed! Jack did a wonderful job and held his bag himself, and even said “Treeeeaat!” a few times. Guess he couldn’t be bothered with the “Trick” part.

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He loved going house to house, admiring all the pumpkins and scarrrrry decorations. Though, if there was a scary person all dressed up, oh no, all bets were off. He was brave for the most part and would laugh after he realized the costumes were fake, but that was after daddy would have to pick him up :) We came to one house that had a scary cat and strobe light that he wanted nothing to do with…but it was the house that had a man dressed up as Batman that did it in for him.

It was such a fun day and a perfect age for us to enjoy. I’m so going to miss the fun traditions we’ve made here, but truly hope that whatever town we move to exceeds our fun standards. Actually, our fun standard should be the deciding factor! It would only make sense.

I’m so looking forward to the next holiday’s “punkins” and “ooh scarrrry, mama!” But for now, I’m totally enjoying Jack dressing up in his Plex costume every day…what a great investment!

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Back home and daydreaming

So, I’m back!  Actually, I’ve been back since Saturday, but I’ve been busy trying to organize my thoughts, catch up on emails and shake this exhaustion.  My time at BlogHer was great, but my experience deserves a slew of posts of their own.

IMG_3103Since I’ve been back, the boys and I have been busy trying to get back into the swing of things.  While I was away, I heard Jeff and Jack had a great time bonding together.  They got along famously without me—no surprise about that.  But on the second day that I was gone, Jeff said that after we spoke on the phone, Jack got upset.  As in, he threw a tantrum and then was sort of blah the rest of the day.  It was as if the first day without me was a novelty, and then the second day was like, “um, mommy’s gone and this sucks.”  As much as I loved the idea of the two of them growing even more inseparable in my absence, I thought, for sure, Jack would forget me when I got back.  So glad that wasn’t the case.

While I was in Chicago, I missed the start of our church’s annual feast.  I know I keep saying things like this, but since this is probably our last summer here as Hoboken residents, attending the St. Ann’s Feast was so crucial for me.  I missed the first few days, including our favorite NJ shore band.  But alas, Jeff and Jack went to the free Friday night concert, and well, danced their butts off.  So, while I sipped my vodka cocktails, my boy danced his little butt off to The Nerds.  I loved that I was able to witness the hilarity via cellphone.

As sad as I was to leave the conference a day early (since I only had tickets for one day,) I was truly ready to come home.  The boys met me at the airport with their arms (and the little one’s mouth) wide open.  What a homecoming!  I know it was only 2 days, but I’m so glad I don’t have to travel solo that much anymore.

Jack and Jeff at St. Ann's

The guys and I had dinner at the feast, i.e., we had street meat and listened to some fun tunes.  Once again, Jack had a blast dancing and putting on a show for anyone who would watch.  This one, he loves an audience and performing—not sure where he got that from (Jeff).

On a somewhat related note, you know how we always say our town is a bit crooked? Funny how it’s all over the news now, what with our ridiculous mayor, by the way who wasn’t even in office an entire month, getting arrested for an FBI sting. But I love how our priest makes a “cameo” in the Times. It kind of sucks that the place we’ve been calling home for our entire married life, is tainted by more negativity. And to think, we’ve worked so hard just to be able to pay our taxes and be able to afford to live here, while we have elected officials pocketing bribe money and contributing to the laundry list of corruption…awesome, no?

As if we didn’t already have our minds made up, now, it’s really time to get out.

**

IMG_3115Considering we haven’t hung out with anyone for months, Sunday was a much needed excursion to see our friends at a BBQ.  In between chasing and wrangling the Energizer toddler, I had fun catching up with friends and enjoying the glorious food. YUM and thanks J & M! You guys are the best host and hostess!  And like we always do after visiting these friends, we’re daydreaming more than ever.  But this time, some plans are in motion.  Well, sort of.  If you know what that means, you know why we’re excited, but still not getting our hopes up.  Lots more change upon the horizon…

Anyway, it’s good to be back.  Now, it’s time to focus on the Hawaii trip and the events surrounding it!  It’s never a dull moment around here.

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You spin me right ’round baby, right ’round!

Oh, the weekend.  How do you always happen so quickly?

The weekend was lovely; it was spent doing City things, meeting costumed characters and enjoying delicious BBQ!  Yum.

I took so many pictures (surprise!) so it’s taking forever to upload.  But once they’re up, I’ll be sure to share.  That’ll be the next post!

Because I feel like I’m constantly spinning with no stopping in sight, may I entice you with this video?  Have I mentioned that someone has taken a liking to spinning?

I love when he starts to get dizzy and giggles.  It’s like, THIS IS FUN, this spinning, let me do it until I fall, mom!  It probably says somewhere in the mom handbook that I’m supposed to reprimand for something like this, but whatevs.

You spin me right ’round indeed.

oh and for serious, can this rain end already? Although, in addition to his love for rainboots, Jack has discovered the awesomeness that is the umbrella. But ya know, when he’s as serious and cute as this, eh, I don’t mind so much.
singing in the rain

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WW: There really are no words

…at least that I’m aware of.  Can anyone else understand?

teehee.

What’s so great is, he’s copying me. haha

AND he totally thinks we understand everything he’s saying.  I’m so enjoying this period of jabbering nonsense.

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Water sprinkler love

Not too long ago, a family member asked me, “So, how’s it going with the whole space thing?”

As in, are we tripping over each other and pulling our hair out because we have no room to move.

Well, yeah, sometimes, but whatever.  We’re living within our means, remember?

So, per usual, I shrugged my shoulders and this time answered, “Going ok.  How bad can things get when on the weekdays it’s basically just the boy and me and on the weekends, we’re never home.”

Never.

And I love it.

Jeff, however, could do without all the errand-running, festivals and City trips.  He’s such a trooper, though.

With another “free” weekend on our hands, we took advantage of the sunshine and caught up on the family time with, what else?

Summer activities.  Ok, city summer activities, but fun nonetheless.

The weekend went a little like this: brunch at one of our favorite spots overlooking the Hudson, quality time at the playground, a little summer shopping, more park fun…but it wouldn’t be a fun summer weekend without a street festival!

OLG Funfest
street meatbeer!zeppoles

Street meat, games, inflatable slides, and because we live in Sinatra’s hometown, yes, there was plenty of Sinatra, too.  Everything was going well—until Jack set his eyes on the sprinklers.

While in line for the pony ride, it was like a record scratching and then, everything went silent.

errrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrgh———-

He spotted it.

WATER!!!

I tried to ration with our 1.5 year old (that was a joke) that we weren’t prepared for him to run in the sprinklers today.  No towel, no swim trunks, nada.

Oh good God.  Can you say meltdown?  Uncontrollable, hysterical tears—as if I told him there was no more party in the tummy for Yo Gabba Gabba.

So, we stripped him down and let him frolic in the sprinklers alongside of all the other kids.  It wasn’t so bad running through the sprinkler with kids two times his size (in his brand new shorts, no less!) I’m learning to pick my battles, here.

Sprinkler love
After he was done, I must say though, we looked pretty klassy strolling him around in dripping hair, soaking wet shorts and no shirt.

Oh, those kids and their sprinklers and water toys. Especially these urban kids. In retro movies, you see always see a neighborhood turn into complete pandemonium when the fire hydrant gets turned on.  In modern day, most city areas have water features and sprinklers to assuage the city kids in the summertime.  I wish I could replicate the roaring laughter that goes on around these sprinklers.  Oh, the awesomeness.

Jeff and I had the beach and our swimming pools growing up, our city kid has water sprinklers.  I have a feeling there will be a plethora of trips to city parks to frolic all summer long.

Eh, there could be worse things in life than discovering the uncontainable excitement that a water sprinkler brings a kid at summertime.

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Precursor to summer and sweet treats

City festivals, long neighborhood strolls and carefree days are just a few of the many highlights of the weekend and hopefully a precursor of what’s to come this summer.

TimeOut New York Kids Fest
On Saturday, we spent the afternoon in the City at the Time Out New York Kids Fest which took place at Madison Square Park, just a block away from my old office.  It was whole city block of kids upon kids, music, sweet treats and strollers galore– Maclaren actually had a stroller parking lot, there were so many stroller!  It was such a wonderful venue for the family-friendly event, but of course, I’m totally biased in saying that considering that same park served as my refuge for so many lunch hours.

Stroller Parking
Besides the awesome music, Jack loved interacting with all the kids; it was pure heaven.  If he wasn’t stomping on the latest outdoor art installation, Flooded Chamber Maid, or perfecting his escape artist techniques, he was snatching toys out of unsuspecting kids’ hands.

Jack checking out the art installation

Ok, maybe not snatching, but when a boy next to him at the sand box was in the process of setting down a toy truck, Jack took it upon himself to call it his own.  He’s a feisty toddler that knows what he wants and like most toddlers this age, he has no boundaries.  And yes, that feisy-ness often elicits a lot of “I’m so sorry” to other moms.  But this time, before I could mouth “I’m so…” the mother of the other boy preempted my apology and quickly wagged her finger in Jack’s face, said “no-no” and snatched the toy truck back.

Oh no, lady.  Are you for real? haha.

I’m all about correcting my own kid to teach him right from wrong, but if anybody needed to learn a little playground etiquette, it was her.

sandboxlots of construction workers

After I mumbled a few choice words, I was over it and so, we danced some more.
And boy, did we dance.

Appleseeds, the very cool NYC indoor playground facility, provided the music group that Jack loved so much, in addition to the sandboxes, toys, art area, and “construction area.”  I personally oggled over Skip Hop’s booth, which displayed so many new fun things, namely the Wishbone bike and Zoo Packs.  If you’ve been to our home, you’d know I can’t get enough of Skip Hop baby and kid gear–you’d think the products were for me.  (Don’t be surprised if you see a Skip Hop post over on NKT soon!)

Build it, break it, fix it
Skip Hop stroller/luggage tagSkip Hop

Speaking of oggling, we found more goodies under the Treats Truck tent, where they were giving away free treats.  Delicious and free!

We waited a few minutes in line to get our goodies; I chose chocolate chip cookies (yum). And when it was Jeff’s turn to choose, he said, “nope, I’m good.” Uh, no you’re not ;) He ended up getting a Rice Krispies treat.

And when I say he, I mean me.

Ok and Jack too.

EATThe Treats Truck

After our delicious free treats, we had lunch down the block at BRGR, which, by the way, I highly recommend.  All natural burgers from grass-fed beef and sweet potato fries.  It was like the weekend of delicious food.

After a day of kiddie fun and delicious treats, it was time to head back home.  We were all pooped from our day in the city, but it was time well spent.  The real sweet summer treats will always involve no major plans, no real stressors and the freedom to do whatever, whenever.  I love summer, but truly, I live for the weekend when it’s just the three of us.

Sweet treat, indeed.

love that water fountain

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Five Favorite Friday–Memorial Day Weekend

Ok, so I know Memorial Day Weekend has come and gone, but quite honestly, I’ve been avoiding talking about it.  We came away with more miles on the car, a smiley kid and time well spent with the grandparents.  And for that, we’re grateful.

So for this five favorite friday, I thought I’d share my five favorite moments of the weekend.  There were so many classic moments, so this will be a fun way to recap another long weekend in Va. Beach.

1.  Jack and Lola watering the plants, which later led to Jack and Jeff trying to water Lola.

Jack and Lola watering the plantsGet her!

2. Jack “helping” to wash the cars.

The little guy isn’t so little anymore and insists on “helping” as often as he can. In this case, he proved to be a stellar sponge-wetter. And by the way, this particular car wash soap can double as a kid wash if you’re in a pinch. Ok, not really, but Jack certainly thought so.
Helping daddy and grandpa wash the carsspray me!

3.  The frog sprinkler.

Ah, the infamous frog sprinkler that I was reminded not to forget.  Nope, can’t forget the frog sprinkler!  It’s a good thing I didn’t, that thing was a hit!  Not bad for a $3 steal from CVS’ after-summer sale last year!

The frog sprinkler

4.  Playing in the rain.

I ran to Walgreens to pick up some bug spray, and I came back to this:

playing in the rain

5. Celebrating with the birthday boy.

Lately, trips home (for us) have become more stressful and exhausting than they’ve been enjoyable.  This time around, we were able to get schedules aligned with my restaurant/bar working brothers and for once, we actually celebrated a family member’s birthday together, albeit a week early!  yummm…Trader Joe’s Ice Cream Cake!

Celebrating with the birthday boy

Oh and if you make a face like this when I’m behind the camera you bet your ass I’m posting it on my blog and on Facebook.  Y’know, because that’s what big sisters do!  Happy Birthday, crazy Uncle John!

crazy uncle john

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